Bob Diggity, no doubt

Jeff liked Bob.
Michael did not.
I was in the middle.
Hey, there was simply no way he could be nearly as bad as the last guy.
Unless he was that bad or possibly even worse.

So I followed Michael down his rabbit hole.
His first reason for being anti-Bob was his last name: Diggity. A simple search of Bob's genealogical history revealed that he is a direct descendant of Sir Bob of Diggity, who famously led the Raviolists to victory over the Shermites in the battle of Dachshund in 1843.

Second, he didn't like the disparity he found in photos of Bob. Well, everyone knows that sometimes people look different in photos, due to a variety of circumstances...

So no big deal there. Which left one thing: Michael's insistence on giving the job to Paris. What (beyond the obvious) was up with that?

As it turns out, Paris is the captain of a team in Michael's clothing-optional volleyball league.

There's a heated rivalry at play between these two teams and Michael had wagered a position of employment with Paris during their last match. Michael's team lost.

One wonders how hard he tried to win though.

Further investigation revealed that Paris isn't remotely qualified for the job, a fact of which she is painfully aware, Her plan was to call on her teammates to help her out from time to time.

All for one...

Bottom line: We hired the infinitely qualified Bob for the mailroom... AND we found positions for Paris and all her teammates in the newly created Unspecified Administrative Tasks Department.

EVERYBODY WINS!